1 year, 8 months, and 2 days

You have been gone for so long!! Although it is still fresh in my mind, like it happened yesterday. It breaks my heart that I've lost out on so many milestones that you would have reached. I am getting closer to having this new baby, and I can't help but feel blessed, that I was given the opportunity to be a mom again. She will never replace you. You will always be her big sister. She will know all about you. I chose a name for her. It is Mariana Jade. Mariana is after my grandma Mary Ann, and Jade of course is after you. Will you please tell my grandma up there that I miss her so much also, and that I want this baby to be a tribute to the both of you. Two amazing and loving people who passed away too soon.
I guess I'm doing okay lately. Eventhough I still have this empty place inside my heart. I had an ultrasound a few days ago, and I got to see whet Mariana looks like in 4-d imaging. Its amazing how technology advanced!! While I was talking to the radiologist, I mentioned that I still had the disc of your ultrasound, and she asked me to bring it in next month when I go in for my next ultrasound, so she can look at it and see if she can detect the heart defect. Even the Dr came in afterwards and asked me to bring it in. They said that the radiologist who did your ultrasound must have looked right past it because it should have been obvious. So I'm excited to find out what they will have to say.
I was asked to be in your Uncle Adam's wedding as a bridesmaid after all!! I'm so excited!! Your big sisters get to be flower girls. They love to dress up, so it will be a lot of fun for them. Were going to do a slide show at the reception, and were going to include you. I take your urn with me to family gatherings because you are a part of this family.
I love you so much Angel!!