Losing Jaida Grace

This morning I threw up blood. I went to the walk-in clinic at the hospital, and they wheeled me over to the er. All my blood work came back good. They said it's probably from irritation from morning sickness. They did an ultrasond, and I got to see your little brother or sister!! The baby is shaped like a little peanut with arms.
Jenna said to me today that she hates that I love you the best. I never meant to send the wrong message to her. How do you explain to a 6 year old, that all of my hopes and dreams for you, were shattered when you were taken from me.  I feel like I've failed her. Like I put my grief in front her. I wish it was that easy just to move on, but you will be a part of me forever. I will never move on. I just need to learn to live with it. I'll try not to cry around them anymore. I'm also going to go out of my way to show your sisters just how much I love them too.
I miss you so much.