Happy New Year Jaida!! I'm so sorry that I haven't written to you in a while. I'm not doing good at all. When you passed away, I wanted to be pregnant again immediately. I was far from in the right state of mind, because all I could think about was naming the baby Jaida Grace also. Like that would somehow bring you back and take the ache from my heart. I am scared to death. I was on Paxil for depression, and Clonazepam for my panic attacks and I weened myself off. I am suffering from ptsd, a year and a half after you passed away!! I can't get over losing you. I just can't. Now that I'm off the medication, I am an emotional wreck, plus my hormones aren't helping. I should be happy, but instead, I'm terrified. What if I lose this baby too?? I have been praying my heart out.
Jaida, I miss you so much. I wish that it was you growing inside of me, but I'm pretty sure that it's not how it works. I love you!!
Jaida Grace Leighton was born on September !st, 2010 at 2:00 am in Phoenix, AZ. She weighed 6lbs. 10oz. and was 19 1/2 inches long. Jaida passed away 38 minutes later. This is my story of life after losing her.
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